Gamla minnen är som flaggor som yr mot en himmel av järn och gift och bly

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Gud! Vad jag älskar honom. Jocke Berg. Det går inte en dag utan att jag haltar och världen blir stilla stående och en klump av kärlek bildas i magen, glädje spricker ur läpparna och jag tänker på Mr. mystiske underbare herr Berg. Han är så underbart vacker. Men vacker endast för att han är han. Blir snyggare med åren. Han är så töntig att han blir så otroligt häftig. Och rösten. Han bär på den perfekta rösten. Den är inte perfekt. Inte perfekt alls. Det är det som gör då så himla perfekt. Tänk att jag! JAG! Ska få se honom sjunga, live. Jag ska få se honom stå på scen och dansa, spela med sina polare, som jag också avgudar. Den 14 Juli. Kan knappt förstå det. Den 14 Juli. Är det sant? Jag har fortfarande knappt smält sanningen.

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Polka dot

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Today I picked up my order from Nelly.com. I had orderd an orange, cute dress with white dots and a pair of precious shoes that my grandfather bought for me. Thanks!

Love to spinn i the dress, the skirt flies.

Calm down

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Anxiety. Anxiety. Anxiety. Anxiety. Anxiety. I have forgot how to do well in school. How to become better. How to learn. How to show what I can. I can´t anything anymore. I don´t know what to do. I have a test tomorrow and I have been study a lot.. But I can´t anything. I really don´t.. It´s  actually a simple test, that I now. Nothing I read, or what people say to me stuck in my head. So now I took a break from all this… study for nothing… Berries and whipped cream with coffee. It makes me feel a little better.

You said, I said. I keep on.

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Do you know what I hate? I hate that people hate people! Some divide their looks in groups – We like, they are okej! – We don´t like the look, this and that, not ok. I don´t like go down the hall and get a glance on me. One look that then jumps to the nearest ear. Whispers and stares. Sneer at me. Am I so different? I admit I am my own, but is it bad? I am no… Bikbok style.. girl.. thing. I have style. If I had the money I would be the real me. Think Lady Gaga, extreme. I´m extreme. I want to thank my friends for supporting me to be myself. Without you I would be gray. In my world – sick. Love you.

(I just notice my father in the bottom picture! haha!)

I´m here in your heart, I was here from the start

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Right now I testing my .. kind of tablet.. you.. paint on. It´s been a while since last time. I think this drawing is really cool. It´s rare that I don´t use colors, But this drawing is really depressing.  And doesn´t look like something I would draw anyway….

Now I´ll continue to listen to one of my favorite bands – Benjamin Francis Leftwich..

Boom boom kaapich

ImageImageAfter some hours of door drops(do you call it that??) this morning I went to town with my family. Bought a pair of sunglasses. To bad my nose looks more pointed… But still love’em.

I´ve found a list on my spotify today. I have apperently named it “The list that makes you rock so hard, faint and boom boom kaapich”.. It´s only one song in it.. A lady gaga song. Rock? I don´t think so. “You and I”. It makes me dance, jump around everywhere… Become crazy.