This is one of those awkward moments when I realize I am not doing anything. I am reading through what like every young person in my age who lives near me are doing. Everyone are at parties and have fun with each other. I haven´t been at any party this summer. I haven´t had fun either. I have met one friend ones this summer. Well, this loneliness is the story of my life. I am alone. I think its nice to be alone. Sometimes. But now am I jealous of everyone! This month have I been invited to do two things with friends, both were canceled.
This makes me wonder: Am I the problem? I think so. It feels just like everyone are doing things around me and I´m never a part of it. I don´t think I am that fun to hang out with. I really don´t. So I see that as a reason why I never get invited to do things! I can´t invite myself! That is the greatest humiliation.
Where can I find people who can bare my un-interesting life, my ugly face, my un-existing humor, my empty brain and difficulties in communications? Is there any?
I maybe was meant to be a maverick.