I have dreams

I was just talking to my uncle about life in general. The themes life and future came up. I´m young and have my whole life in front of me. I´m very aware of that. I´m also very careful not to mess up my future my life.

It is now I need to make my choices. Who I will be. I got the feeling I can be everything I want to be, I just have to make up my mind. I´m not very comfortable in that feeling. Picture yourself having a large table with everything you like chocolate, avocados, coffee and so on, and you can only choose one. One of those things you love the most.

I love so much of things. I got to many dreams. By having many dreams gets your heart broken. All of them can’t go through, therefore will more of them be destroyed.

So what are my dreams? I don´t know where to begin. I have so many and can´t pick one. Some people says Tell the one that you always have in your mind. That one you are thinking about the most. That´s the thing. I would say I have thought about them for the same amount of time. 

So many are telling me that I am creative. I can paint. I should be an artist. That is what people are telling me. And that is one other thing that breaks me down, because that is the one thing I cant think of being. A painter, an artist. The reason of that is: Painting, drawing is my hobby. My believe is: You should never have your hobby as your work. I think I would get tired of painting, because I must paint or else I got no money. I don´t want that.

As I said, I have many dreams. I´m able to do so much. But what should I do? 

If I want to do something, even something I for the moment are really bad at, I know I can do it. I know if I really focused on writing a book, I could do it. If I want to be a doctor, I can be it. These two things are somethings I want. I want this blog to work, but I haven´t been able to put down time so my blog would show the result I really want, because right now am I feeling Is this the right thing to lay my time on? Or should it be the “book”, “medicine”, “music” or whatever. These thoughts are locking me in. They kind of stress me out.

So after these long rows am I now telling you about what my uncle and I was talking about. I have dream to be in the entertainment business. I have had a dream sense I was little to be an actress. I have actually never told anyone about it, because I am feeling so stupid. Actress. How many gets far in that profession? Not many. Almost only good looking people. There my hope sinks a little bit. I have stage fright. There my hope sinks a little bit more. But I love standing in front of my class, evan though I am almost passing out. It just feels right afterwards. I love it. (Staying in front of my class is kind of the only “stage” thing I am doing) Anyway I put being an actress beside because I know I wont succeed. (This make my heart cry) But for barely a year ago I met a new friend who have the passion and really want to be an actor. It´s almost I can say I don´t like it, because he has brought my dream back to the table. My mind is twisted.

If you have managed to read all the way. Please help me. I need encouragement. I want your thoughts.

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8 comments

  1. Shirlena · July 5, 2013

    Do them all…maybe not at the same time, maybe two at a time but do everything. I did and still doing.

  2. completelydisappear · July 6, 2013

    From my own experiences, if I could turn back time to be younger than today again, I woukd follow all of my dreams so I don’t have to face this kind of situation “What if…?” during present days. Don’t get me wrong, I’m content with my life now but once in a while, thought of “what if” scenarion would come cross my mind. So you are still young, have time to choose what you want. What is bitter between regret what you have done or regret what you haven’t done.

  3. uncledavid83 · July 6, 2013

    50770√√ U ® 6®348

  4. jolynnpowers · July 6, 2013

    when I was close to your age I wanted many things too. I wanted a family, and education, to be an aritist, have children,travel the world and at some point have a carreer…. in about that order of importance.At 45 I have done them all and had to add to my dreams list. I think you are just worried that you cant change your mind if something dosent work out and believe me you can and will… I wanted to be an Art teacher in the public school system here in the US and by the time I got done with my education… wich I did after traveling and having a child… thier were no jobs in my area… so here I had a degree and no where to use it… so I became a interor decorator , and hated it! So I had to change my carrerre goals and dreams again… life is like that you start with one thing in mind and end up somewhere ealse… try not to worrrie so much and just fallow what it is you heart likes and you will find happiness… maybe not riches … but happiness and that really is the goal to go to be at night content that you have found what and who and where you belong.

  5. Daniel Huang · July 6, 2013

    I like this part “Painting, drawing is my hobby. My believe is: You should never have your hobby as your work”.

  6. youfriendrandall · July 7, 2013

    Miss, I wish you didn’t need encouragement. I say this because it is evident what you want to do. You want to work in entertainment and that’s what you should be doing. There are so many ways to overcome stage fright. One way is to practice. In college you can take ‘public speaking’ classes which greatly improve your ability to speak infront of an audiance. If you are not in college or don’t plan on going to college, there are workshops you can go to. If you don’t want to attend those, then there are books you can read. Attaining a personal goal is not easy… what kind of satisfaction would we get if it was easy. The only encouragement you need is for someone to tell you, “put your head down and go do it because you can.” So that is what I’m telling you. Go out and do it because you can :). Good luck to you!

  7. Bob · July 16, 2013

    There is a lot of good advice above but in the end the best advice is the one you give yourself – not what someone else gives for you to do.

    Remember this though….. choosing something to do NOW is of the most importance – it is not so much what you choose as when you choose it and the time is NOW ( after a little, but not too much, consideration/thought – we humans can overthink things at times – you sound a lot like me in this ( and you do not want to live like me for the next 30 years, believe me!))

    Remember also – like Jolynn said… your choice you make today may not be the choice you keep to in 1,5 or 50 years time – you are ALWAYS free to change your mind/path ( unless you have kids – then you are stuck with them for life 😉 )

    But if you must listen to someone else’s advice… then mine is to choose to do what you love (now) most, First!
    You don’t have to make it become your ‘work’ ( how you earn your living/wage) but you need to do what you love most while you can. If it makes you money all the better, but if it does not then just do a job you can and one you can enjoy if possible.

    The world is a very big and amazing place and will change far more than we can predict in your lifetime – don’t get stuck in old ways of thinking about work as i believe that very soon the old way will no longer exist and we will have much more freedom to do what we want to do with our lives… maybe even be able to do it all as Shirleena said 🙂

    You will succeed whatever you do – so just do it. 🙂

  8. Bob · July 16, 2013

    One last piece of advice… never worry about making the wrong choice… the only wrong choice is not to choose!

    If your first choice does not feel right after a time LEARN why it did not feel right and make another choice with this new information helping you make a better choice… keep on doing this and you then learn how to make better and better choices – and that is what we all really need to do.

    It is what life is all about – doing something then doing it better – until it ‘feels right’ 🙂

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